For years I have attributed my short stature and hairy extremities to genetics. After all, both of my parents are of average height and my father can sprout a goatee at quite an alarming pace. For those reasons, and a few more that I will not delve into, I have always considered ‘who I am’ to be a sort of hand-me-down from my folks; a gift of genes from two loving parents. Boy was I wrong….
While cruising the internet today, I stumbled upon a truth that has shaken me to the core. According to this website, I am Saradoc Brown, a working class Shire hobbit!
The site also provided some additional information:
“You share your Christian name “Saradoc”, with a Saradoc “Scattergold” Brandybuck: The father of Merry Brandybuck, Saradoc was Master of Buckland during the time of the War of the Ring. He is a first cousin to Frodo Baggins, and his wife Esmeralda Brandybuck (née Took) is the sister of Paladin Took, Thain of the Shire. His nickname, ‘Scattergold’, implies that he was very generous with his wealth.”
Wow!!! I did some further research into my lurid past and also found out that I attended Bilbo Baggins’ birthday party in 1401; Hobbit time, of course. For those of you who aren’t in the ‘know’, that is the party at which Bilbo up and disappeared, leaving his precious ring behind. I’m sure that it was quite a shindig.
I also learned that Hobbits are Christians! Thank God for that. I can’t imagine trying to grasp the concepts of another religion…not at my age, anyway.
I had to take a moment to let all of this information wash over me. For years, I believed that I was a normal person living a regular life. Now, I find out that I am a Hobbit. I can only assume that an evil enchantment of sorts was placed upon me by a bothersome wizard or something to that effect. Otherwise, I cannot explain how I never knew the truth of my past. Whatever the reason, I find myself at the proverbial fork in the road. On one hand, I can forsake my known family and search for answers to the questions of my past, or I could just keep on truckin’. Whichever path I choose, at least I know where I got these hairy feet. Now if I could just find a magic ring, I would be in business.