So, my daughter is enamored with the whole twilight thing. She has watched all of the movies. She has read all of the books. I must admit that initially I was excited that she was so engrossed in a book. I am an avid reader and find few things more relaxing and enjoyable than a good book. So you can imagine that I was happy when my little girl was showing interest in something that I love to do. Little did I know the consequences of her choice in reading material. I admit that I enabled her. I bought her the books. I downloaded the movie onto her ipod. I fueled her vampire flames….I also created a little fanatic.
My sweet and innocent daughter has joined the Edward Army! She logs hours upon hours on Facebook arguing the case for Team Edward. She has lost friends over quarrelsome encounters at the lunch line and at recess, discussing who is cuter, Edward or Jacob. It seems like there is an unholy civil war brewing at her middle school. A senseless war. A confusing war. Nonetheless, as a concerned Father, I feel that it is my parental duty to propose a truce or to mediate a treaty of some sort….I feel that I must do something. I cannot stomach the thought of a bunch of teenage girls turning to fisticuffs over an imaginary vampire (as opposed to a real one) with good hair. Damn good hair. In hopes of putting this conflict to rest, I have devised a plan….
I have purchased an Edward t-shirt. I am reading the books and watching the movies. Yes, my friends, I am attempting to become a Twilight Fanboy. This will put a definite damper on my daughter’s interest in Twilight. I have already seen a marked improvement in the mood at the playground outside of my house. I was out for a stroll yesterday in my Edward shirt and I happened upon a group of young ladies that were in an escalating argument over the Team Edward/Team Jacob debate. I walked up to the group and simply stated that “Edward is dreamy”. They quickly dispersed! It is a miracle. I will keep you posted from the front lines as I attempt to eradicate the housing area of this senseless feud.
By the way, my daughter caught wind of my intervention on the playground and has locked herself in her room….Mission Accomplished!!! War is hell. Go Edward!